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- you have been a shitty sister these last 2 years and basically the 20 before that to a lesser extent
- you have all been the best friends I have probably ever had which doesn't say much
- sorry I don't pick up when you were in town but I was having problems and didn't want to be used that night(s)
- sometimes you act like such a spoiled brat and sometimes you are a man that loves me and it makes me hate you
- we used to sleep together and make things together so why can't we even say hi now
- watch the golden girls with me all day
- xanga suck it
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| B B. rides B. rides that are pissing me off B. rides that are my sister B. oyfriend B. oyfriend being B.arfy B. arf (ing) B. lcohol B. ocaine B. urgery B. ecovery B. issing you B. nd your dumb tattoos B. oving away soon B. eing 19 again would be awful |
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| Xanga's weird but I wanna write in it 'cause I used to.
I need to find my old journal so I can write in it.
It is in a pile with all my other old gross memories.
My roommate is in the room across the hall next to the bathroom with her door ajar,
and she is playing something on tv that hurts one of my ears, the one FACING her.
So I am playing music.
It is 2:30.
I can't sleep 'cause I drank a coffee at 3:30, a martini at 5:00, a coffee at 7:30, an energy drink with vodka in it at 9:00 and an energy drink at 11:00.
I love being aware but not when I'm listless. Now I am in the mood to write or paint or kiss someone.
I wish people could sneak through my window, but there is a screen.
I remember when you would all climb up on the roof to my patio and knock on my window.
I remember when you would throw shit at my window, like rocks.
I don't really care anymore though, now I have bed sitting drinking parties and sit around gatherings. I drink because I am bored all the time. I am bored of everyone and this city. Who said I even wanted to live here, I most certainly do not want to live with you though.
I kind of just want it to be 1991 again so I can sneak downstairs and watch ninja turtles and I love lucy. I want my sleeping bag and my little arms and legs.
I am 22 next week, and that's crazy. I feel the same as I did a decade ago. I still have a ton of friends that I don't really like, I'm bored all the time, and drink enough that I do sort of act 12.
I need to get back into swimming, or something. I miss that stuff and feeling my body do something at least semi interesting.
I'm bored of the tv and my music and my art and you and you and sleeping.
What I need is a portfolio and a new city and more things to bore me, duh,.
Love you.
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| hahidhiddhidgfsui I am five and requesting songs to the dj on the line because my sister and her friend are afraid to and her friend is wearing a pillow under my moms maternity dress to see if it would be a good halloween costume and my sister is young and mean and I love her and I still remember my family who are all alive and not yet crazy and I have a mother and father who are young and happy and still have a new relationship in a new city balhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
All I can say is that my life is pretty plain
I like watchin' the puddles gather rain
And all I can do is just pour some tea for two
and speak my point of view
But it's not sane, It's not sane
I just want some one to say to me
I'll always be there when you wake
Ya know I'd like to keep my cheeks dry today
So stay with me and I'll have it made
And I don't understand why I sleep all day
And I start to complain that there's no rain
And all I can do is read a book to stay awake
And it rips my life away, but it's a great escape
escape......escape......escape......
All I can say is that my life is pretty plain
ya don't like my point of view
ya think I'm insane
Its not sane......it's not sane.
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| atehay histay osay uchmay homay ymay odgay
blah blahablah
get better now and stuff
3 months
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